Stuck in a Rut

This is how I felt. I had come to the conclusion that my life, my emotions and my mind were stuck in a rut. I had hit that point in my life and adulthood whereby every day is the same. The pure unadulterated monotony of going through the motions. I had done everything I could possibly do to effect change and yet no change had been forthcoming. And people… Drama and stalkers do not count!! Just saying…

I’ve proceeded with normality and done what should have been done. I did the good little girl thing and played by the rules, and did so with the best of intentions. Where did I end up? With no result, or a result just as undesirable as no result and sometimes you have to wonder which is worse.

They say that the definition of insanity is repeating one’s action expecting a different result. So I changed my game plan. The inability to say no to others – thereby forcing myself into every possible opportunity available. I’m pretty sure you have seen the movie “Yes Man”, well, it was a game plan similar to that. And for a moment, I got pretty close to something I wanted. And just like that *insert click of the fingers* that door was slammed in my face and I was back to ground zero.

Okay, fine. I can deal with that, and I did. Change of game plan. New Game Plan: Focus on what you love and the people around you who matter. Done. You know how this ended. Like shit. I never met anyone new and hanging around those I cared about, gave the males the inclination to believe that they could get into my pants. But worst of all, I developed feelings for a friend. Sorry ladies, it was a male friend…

Seriously, I know right, Karma is quite a vindictive little bitch and I felt this one. But like I have always said, feelings aren’t really something you can control. For awhile it worked – it was almost reciprocal. Aaaaand then enter mindfuck, because that is literally what happened, my mind got fucked. And to a point, my own demented idiocy helped me out – which I suppose is a good thing, but we’ll come to that.

Stay tuned for my next issue “Feelings”

Welcome to my world

Well howdy there… Welcome to the beginning of what is supposed to be my blog. As most of you know, I love to write… not just love it, I luuuurv it, kinda how Barry Manilow sings love songs. All intimate and sexy like. No I do not hump my pages. Okay well, only sometimes, at night when the curtains are closed. Ink just gets everywhere. *sad face*

I have in the past been quite reluctant to write anything like a blog, simply because you all might just die from reading the sheer awesomeness that is my writing. Okay, fine, that is a subtle exaggeration of the truth, but in all honesty it has more to do with commitment issues. Me? Have commitment issues? Who knew…

However, sitting at court one day waiting during the monotony that is the calling of the motion court roll, I managed to write 8 pages followed by another 3 pages during my lunch break. So I figured that I had enough material to start something that could at least get you guys enticed without having to worry too much about being forced to write and provide you with non-stop awesomeness. I’m too kind right.

For those of you who have been fortunate to read anything I’ve written in the past. This is not quite like that. Usually I write very emotive pieces and normally about subconscious issues. The reason for this, is because I write Free-hand. If you don’t know what that is, you should look it up and possibly try it. You will discover just how many issues you have and haven’t resolved. Although you should possibly save up before doing this, you may need therapy.

Furthermore, this blog is to give not only insight into my own mind, feelings and situations but to persons and situations in general and hopefully add a little bit of comedy to it. In it I hope to make references to interesting people, quotes, place, books, computer games, t.v. programmes, movies and other pop-culture and alternative references that will hopefully educate your savage mind. Yes people, there is actually interesting shit out there that you should and would want to know about if you got off your ass…

I’m sorry to say, that you if you don’t like my humour or my language. Then that is entirely your problem. At this stage, it is only fair to warn you that I say things how I see them. You may or may not agree with that. That, is still your problem, and you can choose to not read this should you wish. If you would like to leave nasty comments, then you clearly weren’t raised correctly because your mama should have told you “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. With that, I come to the language issue. I swear, I swear a lot. Not because I am uneducated or that I have a poor vocabulary, but purely because I feel like it. It gets my point across, and if you want an education on the diversity of the word “Fuck”, please watch the movie “The Boondock Saints”. If you don’t like foul language, that is still not my problem and you should stop reading this because it is only down hill from here.

Also, as much as I am highly knowledgeable and resourceful, should you choose to follow or do any of the things I suggest in my blog and you suffer dire consequences. That is also your problem. This blog is merely here to offer educational insight, it is not a guide to fuck up your life and I will not be held responsible for your idiocy.

With that being said, I hope you enjoy J Should, for any reason you wish me to blog about a certain topic or place or anything for that matter. Please do not hesitate to contact me about a request and I will endeavor to formulate a topic in that respect. Happy reading J